If you are doing ems, teaching or anything with high risk and the only concern you have now is that someone who works fast food is making more then you now… You are an asshole…not because you are comparing jobs but because you got into it for money! I don’t know the number of lazy piece of shit drug addicted selfish pricks come to the top of my head that lay claim to said jobs but I know MANY!

If your a teacher yes you should get paid for it but the only thing you should really ever concern yourself with is the grades you are producing for our youth. Priority should always be the students and not how much money someone else is making. Good teachers are ones that teach because they get something from it personally not financially and I know lots of teachers that have that shit backwards.

If you are a police officer or work for any government agency at all “and I know MANY” you already know the quality of work coming from those that do it for the money. Anyone who wants to concern that state of mind to why they are doing the job should really think about why they got into the field. Most good people the ones that work hard know that no matter how hard they work they will never make a satisfying amount of pay because it’s in their nature to push beyond the hours and beyond that pay. It’s something they do because no one else will work that hard for the people that value the effort.

In a few years I already know its all going to be automated anyway. Soon it will be just engineers and computer programmers. While those that help to support others will be doing it because they want to not because of some paycheck they believe they should be getting. Far to many minds like that and I find it sickening that this is what it has come down too.


I have lived in New York State for a MAJORITY of my life. Not all of my life but a Majority of it. I know what it’s like to only earn 12.65 an hour..which is.. 506 a week… MINUS! 146.33 On just state and FED tax..which brings it down to about 359.65 a week! This doesn’t include Health Insurance and so on..

How I manage to pay my rent, debt, and live with food, Internet, and let’s call it Mental Health Improvement “Video games, books, reading material, and reason to DO IT WITHOUT LOSING MY MIND”. I don’t know.. but I have been doing it for awhile.. and honestly this is the most amount I have made it in the past 7 years. Now I don’t blame my job because my Job has done what it can to support me with the hours and management that it has. Plus to be fair my job isn’t difficult but it is CHALLENGING.. Which in the years I have defined as something NOT EVERYONE can do.. but is something that is EASY to understand.

Now the summer has started so naturally my job’s business is going to go UP. People are going to shop more because they want to do more. On average I will say the place that I work at makes AT LEAST.. 35000.00 a week. Keep in mind this has to pay 13 – 14 employees the same average. Keep all the machines running, taxes, and everything that is included.. on average.. AT LEAST.. 140000.00 a month. Why would I blame my job right?

Now I won’t name the place I work for because really I LIKE my job. For those of you that know me.. you can assume it is the place you see me at but you might be assuming wrong because I MIGHT have more than one job? Anyway.. the question becomes IF one company can accumulate that much money in a week what happens to most of it?

Personally I know most of that money doesn’t go to corporate.. it goes to the taxes which NEW YORK is very good at keeping pretty high considering it has to run one of the worlds biggest cities and it’s surrounding state. I have no question on that field. However what I do question is the percent of investments that go into the company itself. Now the place I work for treats it’s employees VERY VERY WELL. I have seen places treat employees so much worse and really it shocks me that THEY can get away with it.

My mind goes to places that makes me think what would I do with that type of money? Could I live with myself having that sort of money and not trying to figure out a way to equalize the situation? I am not even that sure anyone knows what that means. WE HAD the ability to understand what progression was!

This place wanted to build a structure of power. Thoughts are power, ideas are power and we questioned WHAT COULD BE? Now it’s a matter of protection now.. security.. and safety. We are afraid to give the money to new concepts because we fear it might fail.. not that we might learn from it failing..but just the idea.. that IT MIGHT FAIL.. Perhaps I am thinking about this on a odd level…I don’t know..


Few things make me as angry as seeing media that could potentially be a force of good go bad. I don’t understand the concept of high paying Media news networks.  I love the concept of being a news reporter who gets paid well for the work he/she does. However I also believe that the work should have it’s limits. Without limits you are bound to be corrupted and in that your views become delusions. You get paid to find truths that aren’t real truths because fact doesn’t become a factor.

NEWS is important because in it’s most basic statement it is the telling of FACT not opinion. Opinions are what I DO here. I don’t write about facts I write about what I FEEL about the facts I read. However it’s becoming harder to do that because we live in a world that now mixes the two and says it’s news. I almost never bought this topic up because really it is strange to me how and why it has become this way.

I understand two things about media. First Entertainment is a high point. It’s why we watch T.V., Youtube, and etc with the internet. It’s why we keep our attention to reality tv “even if I don’t” people do. The numbers are what keep everything running. This little space of the internet I have created has zero interest in the numbers while “NICE” I started this to have a voice. In that I feel that is what NEWS has become.. a voice .. not a concept to report FACT.

The second thing I understand about media is that if you switch channels you can get parts of information from one source and parts to another. Nothing happens in one big puzzle piece. It happens in many so keeping an open mind and finding fact tends to be difficult because it requires.. TRUTH.. The details in truth more often than I would like it to state. I suppose that is why things have become the way they have.

I STARTED this because I wanted a place to go to that would allow me to vent on things like politics and religion. Cause I felt common sense is really at this point OBSOLETE. What is common now? With all the information in the world at our finger tips it’s hard for me to say because the numbers can come from any number of sources contradicting one another. I wish I had the answers but in all that perhaps something good has come from it. VOICES need to be heard and I think in all that maybe we are headed into something better.. but chances are it will get worse before it gets better.

The Topic of Horror and Gilberto Valle

Yesterday I watched a documentary that put some thinking into my head. I was going to write an observation about it but instead I figure this will be a better way to share the thought. The documentary was titled “thought crimes: the case of the cannibal cop”. It’s pretty clear that the story is about former NYPD cop Gilberto Valle. If you don’t know the story the sum of it goes like this. He was a cop with a wife and child who at night would join this fetish chatroom and chat about FANTASY details about him cooking and eating people he knew in real life. He even went as far to provide details to how he was going to do it, his emotional state of mine on the topic, and he gave names of REAL people who he was “plotting” to do it too… Anyway you want better details.. watch the documentary cause it’s a pretty interesting story.

Now the story itself is pretty clear. Here is a guy who YES did commit a crime by using the NYPD police data base to get information for personal use. BIGGGGGGGGGGGG ILLEGAL MOVE on his part. Further with the story he used the details and applied them to his chatroom stories. Now what details he used is the part that bothers “Me” personally. He ended up using the first names and pictures of people he knew “including his own wife and child”. Even went as far to say HE HAD ADDRESSES AND information.. HE SAID HE HAD.. but never used or released. He wrote a blue print for how to kidnap some of the people and included a serious amount of detail to it.

Now this is the part that bothers me and really stayed with me. The man used Google to get details on much of this plot. Meaning for him to find out any information for his FANTASY he had to take all of two seconds to type out the words. WWW.GOOGLE.COM and search for disturbing things like “How to cook a human” and “How to kidnap people”. While it’s disturbing to think about why anyone would look up such information the thing that really bothered me was why it was never brought up in court or any place from what I have been reading about HOW EASY it was TO GET said information. Keep in mind the man googled the details and put it all together. However not once did he make any real life moves on any of it. It was all based on theory and search results.

Personally I like to write AND read. I love to read horror, I am a big fan of horror video games, movies, and some music is influenced by stuff like that. The thing that sort of stuck with me with this story is that I have known for some time that the details that go into making most of the stuff I enjoy require some level of research. To write any sort of good fiction you need reference’s same with any art or creation of any type. I know this because I enjoy watching documentaries. I enjoy hearing about the details.. The question this all comes down to with me and this story is Why was nothing researched by anyone but the man who wrote the Fantasy stories and how much is to much information?

I mean honestly we live in a world that feeds off of violence, gore, really strong lyrical content, adult themes and we never question how? Why? or what the bases will be for to much? An artist today can sing about Rape, Violence, details about how to build a bomb and so on this is all acceptable and most of it will make millions as a shining example. Hell I have heard artist us the art they have to explain in very detailed lyrics how to do most of the stuff and explain the emotional detail that goes into it. Yet for some odd reason a man does the same thing in a chatroom that “Some” think was a serious conversation “which in itself is debatable” and it becomes this big thing? I am not saying the man didn’t commit a crime. HE DID..and it’s good he was trialed and “Still” is being trialed for it. However I don’t think the topic should be presented about how he achieved the details. ANYONE could have googled MOST of information he did. Perhaps it was the combination on the level of detail? Yet I question even that because isn’t that how we get most of the great movies we have today? Research and Realism in Fantasy? I can’t tell you how many people still believe Aliens live in New York thanks to the MIB… but perhaps that’s another issue all together…haha

—————— Further down the path..lets back track…

How did I even find this story? Well I have two reasons.. FIRST.. I remember seeing the headlines in the papers “which I don’t read”.. Newspapers to me are farrrrrrrrrrrr to depressing to read and honestly i CAN’T STAND media to begin with. AND TWO.. I follow an Actor/Director by the name of Darren Lynn Bousman.. He posted Yesterday 05/18/2015 This!

I watched an interesting / disturbing documentary on HBO entitled THOUGHT CRIMES… Basically posing the question should thinking something be illegal, and can one be arrested for a crime they don’t commit. They framed the doc around the CANNIBAL COP who fantasized about killing and eating his victims, but never did anything, just researched the topic…

It brought up the point, that we share more information about who we are with GOOGLE than our own loved ones. Think about the searches you do on a daily basis, imagine if those were to go public. Our purchases, our fantasies, our dark obsessions, the web knows our secrets…

I for one know I would be arrested… Just last night I googled the following things – no joke.

Sexy clowns,
Creepy kids,
Black and White Photos of Bondage,
Naked Urban Decay,
Medical Experiments that resulted in Death,
1920’s Satanism…

Now, the above was all research for a project I am working on. But for someone going through my computer I still look like a freak…
The internet scares me – without context, I look like a madman! Well, maybe I am.

What’s the craziest thing you have searched, that out of context makes you look like a freak?!” end quote…

Now naturally I took the step to watch the documentary which is why I started this entire thing. For some of you that don’t know Darren was the director for the Saw 2, 3, and 4 films as well as other great horror films of recent. Really it makes me think about other topics. Everyone KNOWS I LOVE MORTAL KOMBAT.. in the recent game it’s…GORY.. and to create anything with that level of details you need to research..human bodies, reactions to pain, sounds..so on..To write music you need to have bad experiences and good or it’s boring. You can’t have the bad stuff to talk about without the good stuff with both you need the details.

I think the thing that should really be brought up with this story is the details. IT DIDN’T TAKE WORK.. to come up with the details this man “on trial” used. He did it after work between 12am and 5am which took a point and click approach. Instead of using fake names he used real one’s. For example anyone RIGHT NOW could go on google and research how to make a cake. You can google the information and have a cake ready as fast as the time it takes to buy, build, and eat it. The same thing can be said for How to construct a gun from scratch. It’s really scary because we have access to that information really at any point and FAST.. so naturally we question the motives cause “WHAT IF”.

What if someone researches how to build a virus and does the test to make it happen? What if that person is a terrorist and no one is around to watch em? I think it becomes paranoia and caution which makes sense to me because horrible things have happened because of the lack of interest in it.  Yet with that it scares the shit out of me that THOUGHTS will get you in trouble. Researching and writing will get you into some serious issues. This is America! We are living in the place that you are supposed to be able to think what you want! We are who we are because of our ideas. True some are really bad but you get good from the bad..

I hate to think about a place that I am forced to control my thinking because I MIGHT do something. I am sorry but I am the BEST example I can come up with for someone who doesn’t follow that structure at all. I surround myself in horror, violent video games, violent music, and some pretty morbid stuff yet I always come back to reality and sing the jiggly puff song. “Anyone who knows me gets that reference” It’s all based on ideas..interests and not motivation. You build your character on ideas and on the ACTIONS YOU DO. I never have been violent .. I almost never use bad words, I have never done a drug that wasn’t given to me by a doctor or my mother “Aspirin, Tylonal ..crap like that”. My actions prove I love to write, my job is ok.. and I love my family more every day. It’s about what I DO not what I think.. I think I am cool…”Probably not!” So yea..it’s a strange way of thinking to think.. You can’t say that…because you will get in trouble… you can’t present that idea..it’s to violent.. and gives people the creeps.. YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THE ACTIONS OF THAT PERSON..

People.. not the actions.. people are complicated.. we have emotions that go up..down..and we all have secrets. I don’t have really anything that is super strange..”I came to this conclusion after thinking about the google question…(What is the strangest thing you have ever googled?) Think whatever you want.. let your actions define you..and IF You think something and it comes to the attention of people in a bad way and they go after you for it… SOMETHING IS WRONG With the world…NOT YOU..


It’s been a long time since I posted anything here and the reason for that is because not much has changed. The world is still spinning and really with everyone more concerned about tax returns and this day being a Religious Holiday this is either progress or regression. I personally love Easter and I love having my tax return but without children both really get boring. I am not saying I don’t see the point in Easter. I get it! It’s an awesome Holiday that is “Supposed” to reflect the REBIRTH of Jesus Christ OR SO WE ARE TOLD!

Doing some Research “Google Search” I found that originally it was the Festival of Ostara. Named after the Teutonic Goddess Eostra. She was a Goddess of Spring and Fertility which makes sense considering it’s barely the beginning of spring. I recently heard that another baby boom is very possible in this year because the winter caused so many people to stay inside. Personally I think it’s bullsh@# because the winter is always cold and people are always stuck inside every year.

However the idea of celebrating the two kinda makes sense to me. So everyone asks!! WHY THE BUNNY? Why the Easter Bunny and why the candy eggs? Well question for a moment what to Bunnies do? I will not paint the picture for you but yes it’s a ADULT concept to say the least that everyone knows WHAT RABBITS DO? So again we cross back to Fertitliy and well with that… yeap..

The candy and what not is pretty much just gifts to that idea made commercialized. Really any sort of sweet food, pastry or other wise could be used to celebrate the EASTER holiday. Now I am not trying to start some shit with the Jesus lovers. Personally I love the concept of Jesus and think everyone who believes to be open minded on the concept but to celebrate a Holiday and dismiss the facts that most people who you ask.. WHAT DO RABBITS have to do with it and Jesus. Most will give you that clueless look of confusion. So I figured why not start some sh@# and explain what concepts come from it.


I was going to post something here last Friday but due to the fact it was Thanks Giving and well I had family to focus on I never managed to put much thought into this section of my writing. So here we are today and I look around the web for something to focus on that deals with Politics or Religion. Sure I COULD write about my views on the Police, or how children should be raised. However I think “personally” enough has been said but just to say and or sum up what I think about both topics I will do it in One Sentence.

People are assholes, both parents, police, and Presidents.

I think the thing I really want to focus on with this is that everyone seems to forget that we are talking about people. We are talking about emotions both on high ends and low ends. Decision making isn’t done by one person “After all we don’t have a king” we have a president. The way our system works is based entirely on the better for all not just the few select.

Now here is the part that really gets to me. If a person thinks for a moment about how our system works “and I mean REALLY THINK” you come to understand that nothing in anyone’s life gets done with a group decision on it. Now I can’t say who builds up that group but I can say that to live in America today is to be informed by Friends, Family, Media and of course the influences you had while being educated from Grades 1 – 12. While I don’t believe enough focus is being made on the part of teaching people LOGIC. I do believe that everyone is granted the ability to know what is the proper action to make IF a situation should be presented.

So we will chalk this all up to a job. Why? Well cause the topic at hand is based on ADULTS. Every Job I have ever held you had a learning period. Normally it’s the first 30 days and either you get it or you don’t. After that people start to get frustrated with you and your left with nothing more then.. o.k. I can do it or.. maybe this isn’t for me. So getting back to the topic you are left with some places of understanding.

I have never been a cop. I have never been a Racist either. Personally I am under the very real relation that I hate everyone equally until they can show some sign of kindness in my direction than maybe I will give em a chance. I don’t believe people hate because of color or because of race. Most people I believe hate because of fear of what they do AND DO NOT know. It’s a natural human instinct that has gotten lots of people into some pretty bad positions.

If anyone approaches me with a aggressive tone to the actions that are being presented naturally I am going to feel defensive. You don’t enter a situation calm and cool if shit is blowing up around you unless your a NINJA or a Psycho. The same thing stands for if someone is screaming at you or if someone is being defensive when that person knows it’s not the right time to do so.

Now I am not defending anyone on any of the topics at hand. Clearly we all have our paths to follow and if it be a cop or the President your title will dictate what you are RESPONSIBLE FOR not your actions. Your Actions are always your own but your title will always be what your held accountable for. If I am a doctor the title says it all I am responsible for my patients well being.

Same this “I am a writer” so I take responsibility for every word written. After all that is why we have titles. So to end this Do I believe that people can be wrong? OH HELL YES because it happens all the time. This is a natural thing that happens to EVERYONE on the planet. If anything it’s the only thing that bonds us all in this world. If someone could be right all the time.. I think that person would be RULER OF THE WORLD!


Ok this is going to be a bit of a story and for the most part it has nothing to do with “Politics” but A LOT to do with business. So to give some background on the situation several years ago “I believe at least 3 now” I purchased a ASPIRE ONE 725-0899 laptop to replace my old “very beat to hell” Gateway Laptop.  I loved that Gateway laptop but I needed something to replace it that was cheap and would allow me access to the internet and to write. So I went to TARGET and purchased this cheap “under 400 bucks” laptop which really for the most part I am very much in love with. It does everything I want it to do but like everything in the tech world eventually requires a small upgrade. So using a web site www.crucial.com  I managed to find the correct RAM “Random Access Memory” to give my little Lappy a boost. All I wanted to do was upgrade it from 2 Gb “Gigabytes” to 4 Gb, which the web site said I could for a small price. However I wanted to get a second opinion and maybe get it sooner then later so I went to everyone’s Favorite COMPUTER store… BEST BUY

Now everyone knows that Best Buy prides itself on having its GEEK SQUAD. The Geek Squad are the people any normal Joe/Jill would go to for an upgrade on a computer. Perhaps you need a repair or just want to add something fun to your old PC. Chances are these are the guys you would go to. They are supposed to know how to deal with all of this stuff.  It’s become the Corporate answer for all things software and hardware REPAIR related.

This is where the story starts really…So I go to the Best buy “will not say in what area”. I approach the Geek Squad Employee and tell him ” I would like to upgrade my RAM in my laptop.” (Says it with a smile). The man looks at me and says Ok do you know what type of RAM you need? So I tell him.. I am not exactly sure but I have the Laptop with me so maybe you can help me. He smiles and I take the Laptop out of my bag and present it to him.  Now at this point really I must point out that the Employee WAS AMAZING. The guy had to be about my age and really was overall extremely Nice to me the entire transaction.  In terms of customer service this guy gets an A++ “Ha..computer joke”. Anyway… We turns the computer over, removes the battery, and then Removes the back casing to show all my little bits and bobs to the laptop. I can see the hard drive, the Ram Slot, the mother board and pretty much everything that makes up the inside of this lovely machine I have here. The guy quickly notices what type of RAM it is but just to be sure he Googles the Laptop name and number. He finds out the same information I found out from www.Crucial.com and matches the RAM with what he has in stock. Really he didn’t have the same exact RAM but he did have something similar that was slightly lower then what I was looking for. HOWEVER.. he insisted it will work..

Now this is the part that things get funny.. He installs it all properly..puts the computer back together..and looks to make sure it’s all running correct.. “As any tech SHOULD DO” Goes into my computer Properties… and see’s that the computer is running the RAM but it is only reading 2 gb out of 4gb… To show!  I have a picture!


This causes him to be a bit clueless… Apparently he never seen this happen before. Me I am thinking to myself..Maybe this is a bio’s issue? The second I think it…he says it.. so he checks the bio’s.. and comes up with Nothing… the computer is still reading – 4.oo GB (2.00 GB Unusable)… So this is the part he takes the extra step.. He asks one of his co-workers.. This other guy…just as clueless. Both Employees have no idea why it would happen and SO…they blame maybe the hardware… so just to be sure.. they open another RAM Chip… and repeat the process. At this point..it’s the same results.. So they plug the computer in…and give it a quick look over using some chip…to make sure all the hardware is running… it is.. and nothing is wrong with the computer at this point.. The guy tells me really we are supposed to charge you for this but ..it’s ok considering ..it’s not working and no one has a clue why. AGAIN..the guy was really nice and I think he was just pointing out the Obvious.. So whatever on that part…

He re-installs my old ram.. and tells me.. Ok.. so we tried two different Ram Chips.. Personally I think it’s the LAPTOP itself.. However to be sure what I would do is buy the RAM From the manufacture .. and if it doesn’t work contact them see if they can help you.. if not we can do it here but it’s going to take longer and it’s probably going to cost you more then you want to spend. THIS WAS A FAIR assessment and really.. I have NO PROBLEMS WITH BEST BUY.. The guy did more then he should have and was an amazing employee to me so really no grip on that part..

So I did just that! I eventually came home… went back to WWW.CRUCIAL.COM.. ordered the RAM.. Installed it myself.. and BANG… SAME PROBLEM ACCORD…so with the ram still installed I CONTACTED ACER..Now I am not a stupid person.. and this is the part that really really PISSED ME OFF.. IF YOU or ANYONE MANUFACTURES SOMETHING..I don’t care what it is.. let it be a computer part…or a car part.. or any type of part you have…Let it be a cake..but if you are being paid .. to know about something you tell someone .. and I quote ”


me: You don’t Support Hardware You Manufacture? Him: NO.”  YOU FAIL AT LIFE!!

Now that is the actual conversation I HAD! I CONTACTED THE Manufacture of the computer ..and the person HAD NO CLUE … how to repair or wasn’t even willing to search for an answer..WORST CUSTOMER SERVICE EVER!

So I was left.. to deal with the problem on my own.. Went to my sock draw and put on my thinking cap! I had clues.. to begin with the computer WAS Reading that it was a 4gb chip… that much I knew because of said message.. SO I KNEW.. It wasn’t the Hardware..If it was the chip wouldn’t work at all and the computer would be left with nothing to read..The Question became why wasn’t it reading and using THE ENTIRE chip.. So I went back into Bio’s … and did a hardware scan… still … nothing came up.. the computer checked everything.. and all was working in proper order… THEN…

I thought about boot up… what if… The computer didn’t know to read the entire chip because it was set up to only READ  2 gb…? So me being the smart guy that I am I went into the MSCONFIG FILE….

went into the boot tap…clicked advanced options… AND LOW AND BEHOLD.. THE ANSWER TO MY SALVATION! The BOX LABELED..maximum memory was clicked… So I un-clicked it.. rebooted… and

computer problem solved

look at that… It’s all running..and working now…


This is the part I RANT.. HOW THE HELL DOES SOMEONE.. Get a job working on computers and NOT THINK… to check MSCONFIG! THE MOST BASIC… THE MOST EASY ANSWER IN THE WORLD…and some how.. this passed NOT ONE… BUT TWO Tech guys… and why the hell Can’t I get a job in computers again?… HELL I GOOGLED THIS PROBLEM AND NO ONE HAD A FREAKING CLUE! I looked at several forums..and still..NO CLUE! I guess the best part to it..is that I get to post this now.. blah!